


Ever Cold (Love Untold)

by prettysky



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Hockey AU, Pining, Secret Santa 2019, alex is the hockey team captain and maggie is a figure skater, also they live in vermont? idk it seemed snowy and cool, it all goes uphill from there, it's cute n gay with just a teeny-weeny amount of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-28
Updated: 2019-12-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:08:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21877156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettysky/pseuds/prettysky
Summary: This one have a small town, ice-hockey legends, and a lot of gay feelings. Honestly, you need nothing more.
Relationships: Alex Danvers/Maggie Sawyer
Comments: 24
Kudos: 128
Collections: Secret Sanvers | A Sanvers Winter Holiday 2019 Event





	Ever Cold (Love Untold)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [forlond](https://archiveofourown.org/users/forlond/gifts).



> Merry Christmas, ivi! this one is for you :)

The white skates swirled around Maggie's feet quickly and she got up from the bench, taking short, skillful steps to the large ice rink. The floor was empty, the air filled with a vapor of cold rising from the ice. Maggie came to the school's ice rink intentionally during school hours, when no one could disturb her. She left her regular figure skating uniform in the locker, wearing only jeans, a sweater, and a coat. She didn't come here to practice.

She needs to calm down, and this is where she goes for that.

She's a walking cliché - well, skating - she knows, but when you grow up in a small town where it’s ice-cold most of the year, skating becomes more than just a hobby. It's the only thing that can target you, ground you, give you air to breathe. It’s the only thing you know that will always stay around, that you can always run away to. This is one of the first things you learned how to do, and what you will come back to eventually, to feel focused. When she feels lost from time to time, she wears her skates and lets herself loose.

Clouds of cold fogs came out of Maggie's mouth as she stepped onto the field, taking a few simple turns around the frozen, large rink. She skated faster and faster, her legs tugging and pushing her body against the ice. A few simple bounces and half-spins in the air afterward, and she felt like a fish in the water - nothing was easier.

Maggie has been a figure skater since she was twelve. She wore her glittery uniform and her hair was always combed and picked up to a tight ponytail when she went up on the ice. She was good, and practiced a few hours a week, alone or with her coach. She didn’t perform much, but the skating was, like for most people in town, her whole world, and she sometimes wondered if she could be good enough to do something like this in her future, for a job.

She had been on the ice for half an hour, her legs and feet aching and the tip of her nose frozen, when she heard slow clapping from the edge of the rink. She turned sharply on her spot, stopping

"Nice turn there, Sawyer." Kara folded her arms, leaning against the door frame. Maggie smirked at her, sliding quickly in her direction. Kara was a year younger than her, but everyone knew everyone in the little school, no matter what classes you took or how old you were. Kara was dressed in the high school hockey team uniform, without the skaters and pads.

"It's pretty easy, actually," she said as she skated toward her, her arms folded as well, her posture upright. Kara turned back.

"Doesn't look like it."

"What are you doing here?"

"We have hockey practice." Kara sat down on the bench, picking up a pair of hockey skates. "I came a little early to get ready. My turns are, apparently, not sharp enough."

"Says who?"

"Says Alex." Kara rolled her eyes, not noticing the blush that came upon Maggie's face in reference to her sister's name. If Alex was going to be here soon, Maggie needed to prepare herself.

"Aha. Well, I finished up here anyway." Maggie stepped to the bench beside Kara, sitting down to quickly pull out her skates.

Every kid in town had at least two pairs of skates, and knew how to skate before they were six. The city was full of skating rinks and frozen lakes, and unless you were a figure skater, a fast skater, or a hockey player, you didn't have too many team sports options. In the summer (which lasted barely a month) people played basketball or lacrosse, but the skating was almost like mandatory training for everyone, especially teenagers. Everyone just loved to skate, and only a few people didn't know how to.

"When's the practice?"

Kara looked at the watch. "Three-thirty. Alex is quite punctual, she'll probably be here in a few minutes."

Alex Danvers was the captain of the high school hockey team. Everyone in high school played hockey at gym class for fun, but the hockey team was different. Every player in the girls team was one of the best in town, and the team, trained by Coach J’onzz, and under the leadership of the captain, Alex, defeated almost every high school hockey team in Vermont, sometimes even getting up to the nationals. Everyone in town knew Alex and the Danvers family. In fact, in the small town everyone knew everyone, everyone met everyone everywhere, and rumors were spread like wildfire.

Some of Maggie's earliest memories were of her and Alex when they were four years old, playing together in the playground. Alex let her get on the carousel with her, and they turned faster and faster, laughing until their stomachs hurt. They continued to study together in every class since then, but at some point Alex became a little more popular, and they stopped hanging in the same circles. Maggie didn’t forget every day they used to play together, and not that day on the playground carousel when she heard Alex's rolling laugh for the first time.

Sometimes she thinks she's been in love with her since then.

Maggie zipped her boot and stood up, right when she heard steps behind her.

"Hi, Kara, h-" The steps stopped, and a thud informed her that Alex had put down her bag. Maggie froze, taking a breath.

"Sawyer, I didn't know you were here." Alex sounded surprised. Maggie turned, nodding.

"Yeah, I just took a few spins on the ice. Kara said you guys have practice, so-"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Alex twisted her nose (in the cutest way possible, Maggie thought). "I didn't know that."

"No, that's okay," Maggie waved her hand dismissively. "I just finished. Besides, I wouldn't want to take the rink for a whole hockey team."

Alex nodded. She sat down on another bench, taking off her boots. "You can stay watching," she said. "If you want to, of course."

The temptation was pretty big - watching Alex skate on the icy floor effortlessly, giving orders and controlling the puck with her stick... Maggie had already watched Alex play many times, and every time her cheeks turned red, a dreamy look in her eyes. Alex Danvers was, to be a cliché again, her dream girl. Watching her do anything would be like a daydream for Maggie. Maggie blushed, looking around shyly. She wanted to stay, but she missed enough school today for the ice.

"Oh, no, that's fine. You guys have fun."

Alex nodded understandingly but didn't say a word. She bent down to pull on her skates, and stood, nodding toward Kara. "Ready?"

Maggie glanced at Kara, who leaned against the frame of the rink’s door, a small, sly smile on her face as she looked at them. "Ready when you are, Captain."

"Let’s go then."

"Bye." Maggie followed the sisters out on the rink. Alex waved to her, sliding backward, and rushed to join her sister, who was already skating quickly down the rink.

Maggie walked out of the ice hall with her bag on her shoulders, wondering if one day she’ll finally get the courage to ask Alex Danvers on the date, without any fear of the repercussions.

*

The front door opened and Rosa walked in, carrying grocery bags in her hands. Maggie looked up from her seat on the couch, where she was watching TV.

"Can you-"

"Here." Maggie leaped forward, grabbing one paper bag before it fell. They went into the kitchen, placing the bags on the counter. Maggie peeked inside one of the bags, taking out a bag of pizza snacks.

"My favorite kind. Thanks, Rosie." she sat down on the counter as Rosa began unpacking the groceries.

"Don't fill up, I'm making dinner." Rosa was Maggie's aunt, and the person who raised her since she was just a toddler. Maggie's parents died when she was two years old, and the life with Rosa was all she remembered. Rosa raised her well, and she never missed a thing. She was Maggie's parent in every way, even though she was younger than her sister. In fairness, Rosa insisted that Maggie call her by her name, to honor the memory of her sister, Maggie's true mother.

Rosa put a pot on the stove, starting to chop different vegetables and herbs. "How was school today?"

Maggie tucked another pizza snack in her mouth. "As usual."

"Did you skip class to skate again?"

One pizza snack got stuck in Maggie's throat. She swallowed slowly. "How did you know?"

Rosa smiled, shrugging. "You're skipping math whenever you can." She lit the fire under the pot. "You don't have to keep practice all the time, Mags, you're already grea-"

"I didn't practice. I just wanted to skate."

Rosa was silent for a moment, and finally nodded. "Alright. but try to stay in class sometimes, okay? The year barely started, you shouldn’t skip so many classes already.”

Maggie rolled her eyes, pushing another pizza snack into her mouth. Rosa looked at her fondly, shaking her head.

"Go set the table. The soup will be ready soon."

They ate two bowls of soup each, and played scrabble while gobbling up some chocolate cookies. Maggie defeated Rosa effortlessly time and time again, until Rosa gave up, snickering.

"Okay, I think we should play something else. How about-"

"Actually, I'm pretty tired." Maggie began to collect the small tiles back into the box. Rosa nodded.

"You're right. And you have school tomorrow."

Maggie didn't answer, aware of Rosa's gaze examining her. She focused on collecting tiles so Rosa wouldn't ask her what’s going on, but Rosa, as sharp as ever, noticed that Maggie was disturbed.

"Okay, what is it?"

Maggie gathered slowly tile after tile, Rosa's gaze continuing to drill in her forehead, as if trying to read her thoughts. She finally sighed, closing the box with cautious fingers.

"It's nothing new."

"Alex?"

Maggie frowned at her. "Not everything in my life has to do with Alex Danvers."

"No, but the last time I checked, you’re still madly in love with her, with no intention of asking her one day if there’s a chance she has feelings for you too. You're not easily upset unless it's about her."

"What's the point, Rosa?" Maggie closed her eyes, sighing. "She's the captain of the hockey team, popular and beautiful, and I... I'm a nobody. There's no way she feels the same."

"Your social status or appearance means nothing about the wonderful person you are." Rosa crossed her arms firmly as she leaned back. "And and if I do say so myself, you’re a young gorgeous lady yourself."

"Thank you, Mrs. objective."

"I mean it!"

"Okay, okay." Maggie picked up crumbs from the table with her finger, thoughtful.

"What happens if she’d say no? Will it really be so bad?"

"I’ll lose the chance to be just her friend? Social humiliation forever? Embarrassing tension every time we talk to each other? Choose your fighter."

Rosa shook her head. "But you're not even trying! Jameela Jamil says it's like failing in advance. And you know that Jameela Jamil is never wrong."

Maggie knew Rosa was right. She knew that for several years she had been rolling over and over again with the idea of approaching Alex and asking her if she wanted to hang out. She formulated in her mind the way she would speak, the words she would say, preparing herself for pleasant and effortless flirting; Head in a cute tilt, visible dimples (but not too much), a tentative voice but still hopeful. She imagined it hundreds of times, the way she’d tell her that maybe, if by any chance, she'd want to go out to eat something on a friday night? Or maybe go to that Emily Blunt's new movie because she knows Alex loves her and she thought about going to that movie herself and then she said, hey, you know who loves Emily Blunt? Alex! So how about they’ll go see it together? Maggie imagined how she’ll look into Alex’s eyes and Alex will see that she is the one for her. All she needs to do is go over there, tell her she likes her, ask her if there's any chance she can feel the same.

But something always stopped her. She was too shy or stressed out, her palms were sweating and she couldn't utter a word, let alone approach Alex in the first place. She only watched her secretly as she sat with her friends, laughing and talking, and hoped that one day Alex would talk to her and realize they can be more than just classmates.

Rosa sighed, reaching forward to hold Maggie's hands. She looked at her tenderly, smiling.

"You know I always wanted only the best for you. When I started to raise you, some people told me I was crazy for taking a baby to take care of all by myself, but I knew I couldn't leave you. I couldn’t let my own niece grow up without knowing what true love is, without a good, healthy life, and especially without knowing your grandmother's lemon pie recipe,” Rosa now raised a finger in the air, to Maggie's smirk.

"It is a good pie," she murmured.

"See?" Rosa's smile widened. "So, as your legal guardian, I think you've been looking after this girl for too long. It's time for you to act on that. Or let it go." She twisted her mouth with empathy. "I just... I want to see you happy."

Maggie nodded without saying anything. She let go of Rosa's hands and slowly got up.

"I'm going to bed. Thanks, Rosie."

"Any time, sweetheart."

*

"Class dismissed."

Maggie quickly gathered her things, loading her bag on her back. The students started to head out of the classroom toward the cafeteria, chatting and laughing. Some boys started punching each other's shoulders, probably in an attempt to impress the group of girls standing next to them. Maggie fought the urge to roll her eyes, turning quickly.

"So dumb, huh?" Said a voice behind her. She turned, but saw no one.

"Here," she turned to the other side, revealing Alex Danvers smiling at her. She blushed almost immediately, embarrassed at what just happened. She continued walking down the hall, a little slower, while Alex joined her, walking beside her.

Alex Danvers didn’t usually approach her, not voluntarily. There were days when they didn't talk. Maggie wondered if she needed a favor, or had a question, or whether the gods had finally decided to be good to her about her daily fantasies of Alex.

"Yeah," she murmured in response to Alex's comment, smiling weakly. Alex walked confidently, hands in her pockets. They walked along the full hallway, people patting Alex's shoulder and greeting her as she passed by, ignoring almost entirely from Maggie. Alex returned pats and nods, but it seemed more important to her to talk to Maggie then stay and talk with any of these people.

"Kara told me she saw you skating yesterday."

"Yes, I was-"

"She said that-" Alex stopped suddenly, blinking. "Sorry, I interrupted you."

"No, no, that's okay," Maggie giggled. She giggled. Since when did she giggle? She breathed deeply.

"Just to... let out some steam, you know. Skating for me is like..." Her voice faded as her stomach fluttered, unable to find the words, especially when she spoke to Alex. But Alex nodded at her.

"I understand what you mean," she said, and her eyes made it clear to Maggie that she actually did understand. Maggie's heart almost skipped a beat.

"I'll be honest. I have to ask you something." Alex stopped, just before entering the cafeteria, and Maggie was standing in front of her. Alex's hair was messy, its color is deep red, almost burgundy, if there was sunlight shining through it. Maggie didn't know if it was Alex's natural color, but it was certainly her favorite color in the world. She used to look at Alex sometimes, to watch how she was running a hand through her short hair, ruffling or arranging it. Maggie found herself often longing to thread her fingers through it herself. Alex was staring at her now, her forehead suddenly wrinkled with concern.

"Our team’s right forward is leaving in two weeks. I would open tryouts, but we don't have time for that. Coach J’onzz wants us to start our trainings next week, and auditions will take me at least a month. Kara saw you skate yesterday, and... I mean," She moved her hands awkwardly, and for the first time in their conversation, she seemed to start stammering. Maggie found it incredibly sweet.

"I thought, if you wanted, for you to replace her."

"You want me to be the right forward in the school’s hockey team?" Maggie raised her eyebrows. "I don't even have hockey training! Whenever I played hockey I almost broke my stick-"

"You won't even have to play! It's just a matter of the players number on the team. Coach J’onzz won't get you on the field for the game, I'll make sure of it. I would’ve taken a random someone, but I would prefer it to be someone who really knows how to skate, who can look like she understands hockey." 

“More than half the people in this school know how to skate.”

“Not all of them know how to do it professionally.” She smiled for a moment. "Kara said you skated pretty well yesterday. I trust her."

Maggie looked around, breathing deeply again. Her heartbeat rate went up and down over and over during this conversation, and she wondered what would happen if she’d have to see Alex more frequently, now if she agreed. Talking to her, skating beside her... playing with her on the hockey rink? It's completely different from looking at her from the audience. Making an appointment for a heart doctor sounds like the right decision right now.

"Are you my girl, Sawyer?"

Maggie snickered shyly, imagining how red her face must look right now. A heart doctor and also lungs, please. She cannot refuse this offer. Not when it comes with such a charming smile.

"Yeah, sure. You can count on me." She dared to look up, and Alex's smile expanded even further. She breathed in relief.

"Oh, thank you, you're the best. I'll talk to you later about the details. You'll be fine. I promise. No stick-breaking." She winked at her, patting her shoulder. Maggie just nodded, the edges of her mouth tensing into a smile.

Alex walked away, and Maggie rushed into the cafeteria, her heart rate slowly relaxing.

*

She slipped into the ice rink, wearing old hockey team uniforms that were, unsurprisingly, a few sizes up. The uniform was one problem, but the hockey skates, which were different from the figure-skating skates, were a little uncomfortable on her feet, and she tried at least three pairs out of the extra skate stack before taking these. She skated slowly, getting used to the weird combination of the uniform and the skates. Some of the girls were already standing in the middle or on the sides and some were skating around the rink, warming up before the practice.

Maggie fearfully approached a group of girls standing at the edge of the rink, beside the railing. She noticed that Kara was standing with them and was flooded with relief when she recognized a familiar face. Kara smiled as she noticed her.

"Hi!" She waved, and the other girls turned. Maggie blushed almost immediately.

"Guys, you know Maggie Sawyer. She’s replacing Amanda." They all nodded, examining her, and she tried not to cringe in her spot. She wished she had pockets right now, because her hands felt too big in this suit, and she tried to steady herself with all the weight. Kara sled to her quickly, helping her straighten up.

"You'll get used to it," she joked, holding her arm. The girls continued to examine her, some with a judging gaze, which made her blush even more.

"Aren't you the figure skater? From-"

"Yeah," Maggie blurted. "But, uh, Alex... she- she asked me to-"

"Sawyer!"

Maggie turned. Alex stood at the end of the rink, waving. She skated quickly to them, wearing the captain's uniform.

"Sorry I’m late, I had to fix a few things." She put a hand on Maggie's shoulder. "You got on with the uniform and everything? Is it comfortable?"

"I think it would be better to get her a smaller size," said one of the girls. Alex nodded.

" I'll check in the back later if-" A strong whistle sound interrupted her.

"Girls! Over here!" A deep masculine voice called them, and the girls hurried to the middle of the rink, where Coach J’onzz stood, whistle around his neck. Maggie lounged in the back, noticing how some girls skated close to Alex, whispering while glaring at Maggie. Alex waved them over.

"This is not up for discussion. That's what I decided, and that's how it’ll stay. To your places, now." Maggie could hear Alex’s words as she stared at them. They skated away, grumbling, one even glancing back, her eyes narrowed in animosity.

Maggie felt bad. She felt sick, and dizzy, and her uniform was itchy and heavy on her body. Her mouth was dry and her knees were shaking, and all she wanted right now was to be alone, in the frozen lake outside her house, whirling on the ice without a worry in the world. Instead, she was facing a large hockey team that didn’t seem particularly pleased by the fact she has joined them, her crush’s cheerful sister, and of course, Alex.

Alex turned to her, and she tried to breathe deeply as they skated together into the middle of the rink, Maggie trying to hide any trace of anxiety she held inside. Alex just carefully placed her hand on her shoulder, leading her to the end of the line that was already facing Coach J’onzz.

"It’ll be okay," she heard a whisper, and Alex squeezed where her hand was, trying to get past the pads on Maggie's shoulders. "You'll do great."

And just like that, the tremor disappeared, the dizziness subsided, and her heart returned to its normal course. It was almost ridiculous when she realized that all she needed to push her fears aside was a whisper from Alex and a pat on the shoulder, and that smile of hers, specifically aimed at Maggie. She nodded quickly, gathering strength from Alex's presence beside her.

Eventually, things went better than expected. She skated great, as usual, slowly catching up on the speed and sharp turns she needed as a forward, and towards the end, she even managed to send a puck in the right direction. The skating in hockey skates hadn’t yet flowed on the ice for her as usual, and many falls accompanied her until she could catch the rhythm. Each time she stood back up carefully, blushing awkwardly in front of the sea of judicious eyes.

"It's the combination of the right kind of skating and the direction of the puck," she told Kara as they stepped out to the wardrobes after the practice. Kara nodded.

"I understand what you're saying. I was like that at first, too," she chuckled. "I was so clumsy. But Alex made me work hard, and I learned to control it. You’re a talent on the ice, you’ll get the hang of it soon enough."

"I hope so," Maggie looked around, noticing the girls getting dressed and changing. Many of them continued to whisper as they hid their eyes on her, and she felt her mouth getting dry again. The practice, although it was pretty good, didn't make them like her more, for some unclear reason. She hoped things wouldn’t stay that way for a long time.

"What's up?" She heard Alex behind her, turning. Alex was flushed, the tip of her nose red. She held her helmet in her hands and sent Maggie a wide smile. Instinctively, Maggie couldn't help but smile back.

"You were great out there," she said proudly, reaching for a pat on Maggie's shoulder. “And what a talent! Who knows, maybe we could even get you on for the game eventually," she winked, and Maggie let out a laugh.

"God, I hope not," she shook her head. "There are a lot more talented players than me on this team."

Kara opened her mouth to respond, but someone from behind called her and she apologized, leaving them. 

"Listen," Alex lowered her voice, stepping aside as she spoke. "If you want to, I'm ready to work with you individually. To practice, just the two of us. Help you get into it."

Maggie looked back at her, realizing too late that this is the wrong decision. Alex's eyes were electrifying, and she found herself almost trembling, and not from the cold; Few were the times she found herself standing like that in front of Alex, so close she could count the freckles on her nose, to smell the sweat from her body after the practice. Everything about Alex was magical to Maggie, even the smell of her sweat. She almost forgot about the conversation, absorbed in Alex's eyes, until she stirred herself to wake up.

"Practice?" She asked, surprised. She thought her place on the team was technical and nothing more. Alex shrugged.

"Of course, it's up to you. But only if you want to actually do this, you know, be a player on this team… be a part of this team." Alex tried to smile, but her lips stretched into something that reminded Maggie nervousness. She noticed that Alex is fidgeting with her hands.

Alex is anxious, she thought. She’s afraid she won’t have good enough players, that she won’t get her opportunity to prove what her team is worth outside this rink. And if she really believes in Maggie, that she can improve her abilities, become a good hockey player, why would Maggie refuse the opportunity? She waited for this pretty much her whole life - an excuse to spend more time with Alex. While that means she'll have to give up on figure skating, but what's so bad about it? So far, she's still skating, and maybe hockey will give her more varied styles and techniques of skating, ones she hasn't tried before. Being a professional hockey player sounds like a better idea by the minute.

"You know what," she said, a confident smile on her face. She was a little surprised by herself, but her confidence helped and even suited her, and she took a step closer to Alex, slightly giddy. "I would love it if we'd practice together. A few extra private lessons in hockey wouldn't hurt. Just to prove them what I'm capable of."

Alex's eyes glowed. "That's great!" She said, exhaling with relief. "So tomorrow?"

They set an hour, and went to change their clothes, Maggie's heart slowly beginning to absorb the situation she managed to get herself into. She went out on her way back home, noticing only halfway that she couldn't stop smiling.

*

"One of the first things you need to know about hockey," Alex said, her back straight as she slides around Maggie. "It's that your posture is the most important thing. Along with the stick, the helmet, the heavyweight uniform, it's hard to maintain stability. You have," she bent her knees, demonstrating. "To stay on the ground."

"Stay on the ground. Got it." Maggie murmured, mimicking Alex's movements. As a figure skater, she knew how to keep herself steady on the ground while doing all kinds of stunts, but hockey didn't seem to follow those rules, and she remembered how in yesterday's practice she found herself on the ground time and time again, trying to keep up. Alex nodded to her.

"Watch." She made an imaginary stick in her hands and began to skate along the field, her movements smooth and straight as she moved the imaginary puck from side to side on her way to the goal net. She launched forward and shot with her stick to the net, then bypassed the net and turned, returning to where Maggie stood and watched her.

"Stability, watch the puck, don't fall," Maggie put on her helmet, patting it. "Got it."

Alex slid to the railing, where there were two sticks. She threw one at Maggie, who grabbed it with two hands, and leaned the other on her shoulder. They exchanged a playful, almost amused, wordless look as Alex sled past her very close, carrying a cool breeze with her. Maggie's stomach began to flutter as Alex moved behind her toward the center of the rink.

She wanted it. To prove herself to Alex, to show her she is capable of what she expected of her. She had never really thought about playing hockey herself, but now she looked at Alex in her uniform, skating as lightly as she always did, her body moving with constant elegance, and she felt the burning desire to be the best hockey player she could make out of herself. Show Alex that she can be whatever she wants her to be.

From the moment Alex turned to her in the hall, she wondered where would lead her the way she consciously chose to walk, to be closer to Alex, to know her better. She felt the tips of her ears burning with heat, and want, to be as close to Alex as possible, knowing that she now had the opportunity. She began to skate after her.

"Let's go."

And so they practiced. Two or three times a week, and sometimes more, in addition to the team trainings. Maggie felt great - the opportunity to be on the ice even more than usual, sometimes once a day, and spending time with Alex, who seemed to enjoy her presence almost as much as Maggie enjoyed hers. Alex was the perfect incentive to get better at hockey. They spent a lot of time on the ice when Alex taught Maggie different moves she learned well and quickly, and the ice, as usual, was a place where Maggie felt the most like herself, free and liberated. As she spent more time with Alex, she learned that they share this happiness, and even after practicing, they continued to skate side by side, chatting, laughing, and even eating some snacks. Once they even stayed up late, Maggie trying to shoot bits of a snack into Alex's mouth as she skated, causing prolonged laughs and more butterflies in Maggie's stomach. They spent time almost exclusively on the ice, a place where both of them felt at home, and the feeling was evident in every practice, adding a touch to their meetings. Even the teammates began to warm up to Maggie from practice to practice, realizing her skills, which were slowly improving. There was nothing that made her more proud of herself than to see Alex lifting her thumbs to her after a successful pass or skating towards her to high five and cheering. She felt at the top of the world.

"I just don't understand this, honey," Rosa said one afternoon. "You've never expressed interest in hockey."

"That is before Alex Danvers herself asked me to join the team," Maggie shrugged, grinning. Rosa was leaning beside the marble while Maggie set at the dining table, homework spread out in front of her. Rosa folded her arms, her eyebrows furrowed in an attempt to understand the situation.

"And you’re comfortable? With all the-"

"Rosa, this could be my chance with Alex. We practice just the two of us sometimes, to get me into business, and... I don't know," she smiled shyly as she lowered her head, thinking of the way Alex was skating beside her, spurring her, laughing with her. "We spend a lot of time together. She's sweet, and so nice, and pretty cool. I never really got to talk to her like that, you know?" Maggie sighed, placing a hand under her chin. "With no one, to be honest."

Rosa smiled at her, but something about her smile was incomplete. "I'm happy for you, Maggie, really."

Maggie's smile faded quickly. "But...?"

"Nothing," Rosa shrugged. "I'm just thinking about what would happen if Alex didn't... want you, you know. If she's just a nice person who wants you for her team, or-"

"Rosie," Maggie said firmly. "Everything's fine. I know how to read signs."

Rosa bit her lip. "It just feels like you're too emotionally involved-" She stopped herself, eyes closed. "I don't want you to get hurt, that's all. What was wrong with figure skating? You were so good there..."

"Figure skating didn't have Alex!" Maggie frowned. "You really can’t see how great this opportunity is for me?"

"I do, but-"

"Enough, then. I’m staying on the hockey team." Maggie began to collect her things from the table and got up, walking away before Rosa was given the opportunity to respond.

Alex was worth it. All the falls, the judgmental looks, even Rosa’s lack of support- Maggie was willing to sacrifice everything for another hockey training with Alex. Every joke, every witty comment, or just skating next to each other, might bring her closer to the thing she’s been wishing for. She discovered a sweet, pleasant person, even a little nerdy. They shared interests and views, and many times Maggie found it difficult for them to stop talking, even in times they hardly practiced.

"Nice!" Alex cheered at her as she scored another goal in their private practice, set before the team training. "Try again on the other side."

Maggie turned, skating quickly to the other side of the rink. Some of the advice Alex gave her about body stabilization and proper use of hockey skates she was able to apply almost effortlessly and things went smoothly. Maggie managed to turn around, stop and use the stick while on the move. She continued down the rink now, the puck firmly clutched between her stick’s movements, but a miscalculation of the stick swings in her hand made her trip and fall. The stick flew away, and she blurted a sound of panic, flattening on the ice. Her regular hockey uniform remained in her locker, and for now she just trained with simple plastic knee pads, wearing long socks, tight-fitting socks and padded pants. The thick plastic shield came loose, and her knee met the hard ice with a painful blow, the layers she wore are a useless defense against the crash.

“Oh, fuck," she heard Alex exclaim, rushing on the ice to her. Maggie’s knee throbbed in pain and through the clumsy uniform she could feel the frozen floor. Alex picked up Maggie's plastic shield and stick, bringing them with her, and her hand was resting on her back an instant later.

"Shit, that looked pretty nasty," she heard her say, her voice flooded with worry. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I-" Maggie turned around, trying to get up. She felt her injured knee, her face twitching in pain. Alex's hand was still resting on her back, running it slowly back and forth. Maggie felt her stomach swirl to the touch, soft and caring. She gripped Alex's arm that tried to steady her and struggled to stand up, her knee is trembling.

"Should we check it out? You can-"

"No, no," Maggie insisted, sliding slowly. Alex's arm supported her own and they skated together, gripping each other. Maggie took a deep breath, trying to recover. Alex's presence always overwhelmed her, but over the past few weeks they spent more and more time talking, and she managed not to blush or giggle every time she talked to her, generally behaving more like herself around Alex. It was refreshing, being able to truly talk to Alex, after the initial shock. After this fall, Maggie felt embarrassed; It certainly wasn't the first time she crushed on the ice, but it was definitely the most serious one. Alex taught Maggie how to do various stunts on the ice, but sometimes the complicated hockey moves were too difficult, and she fell repeatedly. But every time she fell, Alex was patient with her, and Maggie felt grateful to find Alex time after time, fall after fall, a pleasant and considerate person. She adored her and for good reason - Alex was amazing, and Maggie felt more and more in love with every look, every touch, every smile.

Now, Alex's hand held her arm and they skated slowly in unison. Maggie’s chest squeezed hard as Alex's gloved hands gripped her elbow that was shaking slightly. She could feel Alex's thumb making an almost microscopic motion, caressing back and forth in a soothing motion. She began to release her arm gradually but Maggie's knee didn’t make the weight and she almost collapsed, if not Alex that caught her at the last second.

"Okay, this is a big one. We’re going."

They went out to the wardrobes, and Maggie limped to one of the back benches, sitting down carefully. She took off her padded pants, folded the long sock up, revealing a bruise that began to form on her knee. Alex took off her hockey jersey and her chest protector, staying in a T-shirt and her jersey tied around her waist. She hurried to kneel down, and Maggie spread her knee forward with a sigh of pain, Alex fluttering over it with her fingers.

"Well, there's no open wound, so at least there's that." Alex's brow wrinkled. "I'll go get you some ice."

She returned in two minutes, carrying an ice pack in one hand and waving a chocolate bar in her other hand, her eyes lit up.

"Found this in the freezer." She handed Maggie the snack, placing the ice pack on Maggie's knee herself. Maggie let out a sigh of pain as the ice touched her knee and Alex picked it up, putting it down again, softly.

"Eat, it's good for you."

Maggie peeled off the cover, gently biting as Alex continued applying the ice on her knee, her eyes focused on the pack. Maggie took a second bite as Alex looked up, and without words she handed out the snack, letting Alex take a bite herself while her hands were busy with the ice. It was a simple gesture, almost ordinary, but Maggie's heart pounded faster as Alex bit into the snack, and as her hands continued to touch her knee, massage and apply the ice. Another movement from Alex's side made her let out another sigh of pain, and Alex quickly moved her hands, wearing an apologetic face.

"It looks fine, but the ice will help the pain faster." She said, her eyes still on the bruise. She removed the ice a little, flicking her fingers slowly over the skin. Maggie swallowed, trying to control herself as Alex kept on going.

Of course, she's supposed to freak out now - her crush for years is touching her injured knee as she puts ice on it, and looks pretty hot while doing it. Maggie was supposed to redden and stutter and giggle or do all these things together, but other than the stomach butterflies she'd grown accustomed to, she just enjoyed watching Alex take care of her. She took another bite of the snack, just above the bite Alex had taken.

She knew she might have a serious chance with Alex, if only she’d play her cards right. She and Alex developed a relationship in their little time together, a good, honest relationship, and Maggie felt coordinated with Alex about many things, both on and off the rink. She knew more about Alex than she thought she would find out - Alex just happily shared with her, openly, in a way that even surprised her a little; Alex feels comfortable enough with her to tell her about herself. She wondered what she was supposed to say or do to attune her expectations with Alex about their future, about her interest in Maggie. Many times she stopped herself from leaping forward and just kiss Alex, especially when they were close enough or just shared a long smile. She longed to do everything without talking, to just go for it, without thinking. But she knew that wasn’t the way, and hoped the opportunity would soon come to her.

"Do you enjoy playing hockey?" Alex looked up for a moment, a slight smile on her face. "Did I drop you into something unexpected?"

"No, no," Maggie protested. "You asked me before I joined, it’s not like I didn't know anything..."

"Yes, but until your knee crushes on the ice you don't really know what it’s like."

Maggie raised an eyebrow. "I smashed my limbs on the ice non-stop in figure skating, you know."

"Did you now?" Alex matched her eyebrow to Maggie’s, her smile expanding as her hands continued to be wrapped around Maggie's knee. She glanced at the snack Maggie was still holding, and Maggie noticed, hurrying to give her another bite. She took the last bite herself and they continued to look at each other quietly, with slight smiles.

Maggie put the snack wrap on the bench next to her. The bruise barely hurt by now, and the ice pack began to thaw, but there was nothing in the world that could make her want Alex to stop touching her. She looked down at Alex, who moved around the ice pack for the umpteenth time, suddenly noticing the redness that filled her cheeks, the way she breathed from her nose, clenching her jaw from time to time.

Could Alex feel stressed in her presence? In all the moments they spent together, Alex didn’t seem to be afraid or anxious about Maggie's presence. On the contrary, she seemed relieved, happy. Maggie knew she enjoyed training with her - she even admitted it during one of their trainings. So why does the situation seem to stress her out? Maggie tried to take a deep breath herself. Maybe now was the right time to bring up the subject, with the atmosphere getting more intimate every second.

Alex's hair fell slightly on her face, covering her forehead. Maggie couldn't stop herself before her hand shot out to pull away her hair and look into Alex's eyes, who slowly lifted her head. Maggie ran her hand over Alex's cheek, down to her jawline. Alex said nothing, but her cheeks were screaming in red, warm against Maggie’s cold hands. Maggie took a deep breath, a slight tremor going through her as her fingers curled in Alex's hair behind her ears. The tension was thick, Maggie could almost smell it - the smell of nuts, frost, a little bit of polyester. The gentleness, the fragility of the moment, made her shiver, made her mind blank, all she could think of was Alex’s eyes. She looked into them and knew she felt something.

But she just didn't know what it was. How is she supposed to ask, raise the issue, function, when Alex Danvers touched her like that, letting her touch her like that. They sank in the moment, Alex looking up at Maggie, her eyes wide, enchanted, her face wrapped in Maggie's touch, her hands, cold red, still holding the ice.

"Alex..." Maggie tried to stop her body from bending forward, pinning her face to Alex's, feeling the sharp contrast between her frozen nose and her fiery cheek...

"Alex?"

Alex broke away from her like a knife that cut the air, dropping the ice on the floor. Maggie's hand was sent back to her lap, her heart thudding louder.

Kara came into the room, hockey stick on her shoulder and her uniform in her hands. She smiled broadly at both of them as she came in, Alex standing with her hands crossed, her breathing truncated.

"Hey, Maggie, I didn't know you were here too! What-" She looked between the two, wondering. "Did you guys practice?"

“Yeah, we did-"

"No - I mean, not exactly,"

"Maggie crashed on the ice-"

"Alex brought me something to put on it, it's nothing-"

They talked together, stammering and getting into each other's sentences, and Kara continued to look at them as her eyebrows lifted up amusingly.

"Okay, okay." She stepped inside, placing her bag on one of the benches. "I just came in to get ready before practice." She glanced at Alex, who looked frozen in place.

"You do remember we have team practice now, don't you?"

Alex nodded aggressively. "Of course, of course," she said, looking in every direction except for Maggie. "I'm just, uh, I'll go to, uh..." She pointed to the door, moving slowly. "I'll just go to... get ready."

She left quickly, her breath heavy. Kara looked at the door, confused. She looked over at Maggie, whose knee was still forward, empty of ice.

"Is she okay? Something happened?"

"Everything's fine," Maggie quickly stood up, her knee protesting in pain. She quickly limped out to follow Alex, through the hallway leading out.

"Alex, wait!"

Alex didn’t stop, rushing towards the restroom. Maggie limped faster.

"Alex, I can't chase you with this leg, please stop."

Alex slowed down, stopping in front of the restroom door, her back still facing Maggie. Maggie came closer, standing behind her. She wanted to put a hand on her shoulder, but stopped herself.

"Alex, I... I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable..."

"It's not you." Alex turned her head slightly aside, not looking directly at Maggie, her hand clutching tightly at the door handle.

"Alex-"

"Please, Maggie, just... I can't do this now." She lowered her head. "You're fine. It's on me."

Maggie was silent, confused. What does that even mean?

Alex breathed deeply, still not turning. Maggie reached forward tentatively, but Alex had already opened the door, stepping inside.

"I'm sorry," she said, slamming the door shut.

Maggie stayed there, planted in place, confused to the bone. She began to walk back to the wardrobes, the pain in her knee relaxing a little. She huddled across the room, approaching her bag that was lying aside, while Kara was preparing for the training. She started arranging her things quickly, wanting to get out of there as quickly as possible. With Alex escapes right after sharing a moment, a moment that could easily have been-

No. Maybe it all has been a big mistake. Maybe she shouldn't be here at all. Maybe she's throwing at Alex feelings that she doesn't even have.

Maybe she should've never agreed to join the hockey team.

"What's up with your leg?"

"I’m fine. My knee got hurt a little but I'm fine."

"Oh, let me look-"

"No." Maggie's voice may have been too sharp and she heard Kara freeze in the middle of walking towards her. She sighed, rubbing her forehead.

"Sorry, I just... I'm going home. I need to rest."

"Of course." She heard Kara behind her as she loaded her bag over her shoulder. "Feel better."

She didn't answer as she hurried out, her head lowered to avoid any look she didn't want to encounter, the sweet chocolate taste suddenly bitter on her tongue.

*

She slammed her room’s door, falling to her bed with a sigh. Her head was laden with thoughts all the way home, her knee still throbbing in the cold that prevailed outside.

What was she even thinking? Alex is probably not even a lesbian. Or she's too scared to admit it. Or she’s not ready for a relationship. Or anything else that apparently made her run away from Maggie as soon as she shows feelings, as soon as they share something that couldn't be explained in words, once they had the possibility of something bigger. Maggie hugged her pillow, looking at the ceiling.

It doesn't matter what the reason was. Alex would never want her, and she was an idiot for trying.

What is she supposed to do now? She could talk to Coach J’onzz and tell him she doesn't want to be on the team anymore, but if she’ll be honest, she's been enjoying playing lately. She could even get on the rink for the game. On the other hand, the thought of talking to Alex, practice with her, attending the game with her, made her shiver. She couldn’t even think about what might happen if she and Alex will continue to meet, talk, practice together, after what they just shared in the wardrobes.

And maybe everything continues to be in her head? Maybe Alex didn't feel anything and ran away for no reason, maybe Maggie just invented everything and sinks in hallucinations again, desperate to know what Alex is feeling, infecting on her thoughts and feelings that aren’t even hers. Maggie let out a sigh, rubbing her eyes. She felt lost.

"Maggie?" There was a knock on the door. "I'm home. Can I come in?"

"Yes," Maggie cried weakly. The door opened and Rosa came in, finding Maggie curled into a ball on her bed, her eyes wet.

"Oh, sweetie." Rosa hurried to her. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." Maggie quickly wiped her eyes. "Everything's fine, I'm just- my knee hurts..."

She showed Rosa the bruise on her knee, explaining what happened. She left out the part about her and Alex, but Rosa immediately noticed something else was wrong.

"It can't be just that though, can it?" Rosa raised an eyebrow. "You're stronger than that to whine about a knee blow."

Maggie folded her legs to her chest, hugging them. She bit her cheek as she wondered how much the ‘I told you so’ would really hurt. Rosa wasn’t exactly unbiased, but Maggie could use her advice, and perhaps her comfort.

"It’s Alex. I think doesn’t really... feel what I thought she might be feeling." She sighed. "There was a moment today... I thought we shared something, it almost seemed like-" She shook her head. "But she ran away. I tried to talk to her but she just waved me off, like... like it was a mistake for her, and now... I don't know what to do. I guess she really wasn't as interested in me as I thought. As I made myself think."

Rosa nodded, resting her hand on Maggie’s shoulder. Maggie glanced at her.

"You're not going to say I told you so?"

Rosa smiled softly at her. "You don't deserve to get I told you so, not after what you've been through. What you do deserve," She leaned forward, gathering Maggie in her arms. "Is a partner who will be honest and clear in her feelings for you. And for herself as well. And if Alex can't admit that she likes you, or understand what she wants, it's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong.”

Maggie sighed again, tugging on her nose as Rosa gathered her head to rest on her shoulder, her other hand stroking her hair.

"I really thought there was something between us."

"It's not whether or not there is something between you two. It's whether she was brave and honest enough to admit it, to let you know how she feels. Tell herself and you that she's willing to try. And whether she agrees or not - it has nothing to do with you." Rosa raised Maggie's chin to look into her eyes.

"You are an amazing and strong young woman, and no matter how many times your heart breaks, you have to remember that you’re always better than anything you go through, that you can stand it and move on."

A tear shattered on Maggie's thigh and she pulled her nose, her lips trembling. She knew that Rosa was right, and a wave of gratitude towards Rosa washed over her, knowing how lucky she was to win her as the person who raised her.

They remained embraced for a long time, Maggie's tears drying on her cheeks.

"Want us to make some mac and cheese?"

"With chili?"

"Who do you think I am? Of course with chili."

"Good."

*

Maggie spent the next few days deliberately evading Alex, in team trainings and class. Alex seemed to be avoiding her too, so it wasn't very difficult, but still every time Maggie saw her, something pinched in her heart and she just clenched her jaw and walked away, trying to forget about it. Alex's gaze when she had to look at her was always cold and hollow, and she figured the situation wasn't easy for her either.

It wasn’t a picnic, trying to erase from her heart the feeling she had for her all these years, and was even more difficult after everything that intensified between them in the last few weeks they spent together. At night, she clamped the blanket to her chest and tried not to cry. Usually, it didn't work out, and she finally fell asleep on a damp pillow, a wrinkle between her eyebrows. She had liked Alex for so long, maybe too long. Now that she tried and failed, she knew that logically the best way to overcome this was to move on, though her heart didn’t cooperate with the plan. The hopes she held for so long that maybe one day Alex Danvers would agree to be something more for her - everything just crumbled. She knew she had to put it all behind her, because if she’ll let herself sink in it, getting back to herself would be almost impossible. She cried every night, but in the morning she always got up and with a deep breath, she continued forward.

Maggie found herself two days a week in hockey practice, wondering what she was actually doing here. She liked to play, but the pressure that surrounded the entire team toward the game affected her as well, and she knew that without the support she received from Alex, it would be much harder for her to keep going. She was in a tight spot, and no one could help her.

"Sawyer." She felt a pat on her shoulder as she walked down the hall on her way to history class. Turning around, she found Kara, who was looking around, as if making sure no one sees them.

Kara signaled her wordlessly to follow her to a hidden corner between two hallways. Maggie sighed, wondering what could Kara Danvers possibly want from her. She wasn’t in a mood for any of the Danvers girls. Not this week.

"What?"

"I need to know what you did to my sister."

"What did I do to your sister?" Maggie didn't expect that.

"Yes, you. Since the incident with your knee last week, she doesn’t speak to me, she’s barely eating, and I don’t think she’s sleeping much. It started right from the time you hit your knee. You two stopped training together, too." Kara narrowed her eyes. "I'm not a detective, but I can see something happened between the two of you, and I want to know what it is."

Maggie sighed again, rubbing her eyes. "It's not your business, Kara. Just leave it."

"Like hell it’s my business!" Kara looked angry. "My sister acts like a zombie and won't tell me what's going on, and it has something to do with you. So either you tell me what's going on, or I'll make sure you get kicked out of the hockey team."

"Playing dirty, Danvers?" She rolled her eyes, bumping back in Kara's burning gaze. "Fine, I don't care. Like I even wanted to join this stupid team in the first place."

She turned to walk away, but Kara's hand was placed on her shoulder again.

"You’re in love with her, don’t you?"

Maggie froze, her heart stopping. She turned quickly, staring at Kara.

"What? No, I’m not."

"You can't be any more transparent, you know that?"

"Shut up." Maggie pushed her back. "Who else knows about it?"

"Nobody. I deduced that by myself. You walk around each other like two lovebirds, talking and meeting and skating together, exchanging all those looks, and one day just stops talking to each other at all." Kara shook her head. "I suppose you walk around in a sour face at home, too. What happened? Did you tell her?"

"No!" Maggie looked around to make sure no one is listening to them. Kara raised an unconvinced eyebrow.

"Well... almost," she whispered, looking down. “I, uh, tried to… we had a moment. But she ran away.”

Kara remained silent for a few seconds, then raising a comforting hand to place on Maggie's arm.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah." Maggie still didn’t dare to look at Kara's face.

"Alex can be... a little hard to crack. Even for herself. I guess if there was something between you two, she just had to take the time to figure out what she wanted."

"Yes, well. If you’re done reminding me that your sister has no intention of talking to me soon, I have a history class to get to."

Kara swallowed, nodding, and Maggie turned to leave.

Maybe she just needs to go home. She can't keep walking around those hallways. 

She have to go skate. Right now.

*

The ice was smooth and perfect. The lake in front of her house was small enough not to attract strangers, and big enough for her to skate safely, and occasionally even try to make some moves. Maggie breathed the freezing air into her lungs and walked onto the white surface.

She skated, free. She tried to turn and jump, waving her hands for balance, finding that the figure skating moves weren’t forgotten from her. It was like riding a bicycle, and she felt immediate liberation, in her head, her hands, her feet which carried her back and forth along the small lake. She closed her eyes, knowing the dimensions of the lake by heart.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps in the snow behind her and stopped, turning.

Alex was standing there, her hands in her coat pockets, a woolen hat covering her head. She looked a little surprised when Maggie noticed her, as if she didn't plan on getting caught. Maggie's heart suddenly raced up, her strong desire to forget about Alex's existence exploding in front of her presence here, right outside her house.

"You, uh... you're skating great." She said, gesturing awkwardly. Maggie couldn't stop herself from blushing, her hands suddenly feeling heavy, out of place. She didn't know what to do with them now, when she stopped, and eventually she folded them over her chest, examining Alex.

"You saw me skate."

"Not like that, not..." She gestured again, even more embarrassed. "Not really."

"What are you doing here?" Maggie's voice was cold, slightly tired, in stark contrast to the fiery heat she felt inside.

Alex took a deep breath. "I, uh... Kara talked to me. She said that... that you..." She stared at the snow, her cheeks reddening. "Well, the truth is that I… I have something to tell you."

Maggie sled forward, standing at the edge of the lake, a few feet from Alex. Her hands were still crossed over her chest but her gaze became softer, listening, and she was silent, waiting for Alex to speak. Alex’s voice trembled, hesitant, and she paused, as if exploring her words one by one before letting them out, anxiously wringing her fingers.

"In the last few weeks we spent together, I realized a few things. I realized why I never really wanted to date boys. Or why I felt that… weird heat in my stomach every time I was sleeping over at a friend’s house. Or why..." She swallowed, daring to look up just for a second. "Why I felt like I couldn't take my eyes off you every time you skated next to me. It was a feeling I knew, but I pushed what it meant for me so deep, and by the time it..." She hesitated for a moment. "When you looked at me that day in the wardrobes, everything broke out and I couldn't keep it inside, but I still couldn't admit it, couldn’t let this happen to me. The last few days without you made it clear to me that there was truth in what I thought. What I’ve been running from for such a long time. I couldn't lie to myself.”

Maggie nodded, the wrinkle on her forehead thawing in front of Alex's honesty. She put her hands in her pockets, sliding a little forward. She began to understand Alex's situation, and her heart went out to her. 

"You don't have to say it if you're not ready yet," she said, her voice quiet, not pushing. She tried to smile at her encouragingly. Alex shook her head, still looking at the ground.

"No, I can. Give me a minute."

She clenched and unclenched her hands, breathing deeply. One nod to herself, and she lifted her head.

"I think I'm a lesbian," she whispered.

Maggie nodded, a smile widening on her face as a huge puff of relief emitted from Alex's mouth. She lifted her head as their eyes met, and Alex's lips also curled with a smile.

"God," she murmured, a short laugh coming from her mouth. She covered her forehead. "Wow, that feels so good. I can't believe it..."

"It's amazing. I'm so proud of you, Alex," Maggie tried to reach forward, and Alex was quick to grab her hand, pressing it hard, her smile full of joy. "This is a huge step. You did great."

Their eyes finally met, and Maggie saw Alex’s eyes glowing with tears, feeling her own eyes wet as well. Alex’s chin trembled and she shook her head with a slightly sad smile. "Don't think for a moment that I ran away that day because I didn't want you. What I felt was so strong... I couldn't explain it, and it scared me so much." Maggie noticed a tear on Alex's cheek, despite the smile still on her lips.

"And I think... I think I'm in love with you, Maggie," she whispered. "I think I’ve been in love with you for a long time and I, I couldn’t see it, I couldn’t admit it, not to myself. Everything I did, everything I said, it was all because I wanted you, and I didn't know how to make it happen. But now... " Alex's words faded out and she shook her head, as if trying to find more words for her feelings, as they stood there, holding each other. The butterflies in Maggie's stomach burst from an invisible cage, flying to every tissue in her body, bringing her to life. The sound of logic that worked so hard to wipe Alex from her mind, her touch, her smell, her deep eyes that swept Maggie effortlessly, was dying before Alex’s intoxicating presence in front of her, confessing her love. Maggie felt in a dream, lightly biting her lips to make sure it was a reality.

"You have no idea how long I dreamed of hearing you say that," she said, her hands extended to wipe Alex's cheeks, running a finger over her shaking chin. Alex's smile widened in relief, and she leaned into Maggie's touch. They stood like that, Maggie in her skates on the frozen lake, Alex in boots on the snowy ground, and Maggie never felt closer to a person than here with Alex holding her shoulders, happiness washing her face as she looked at Maggie.

"Can I kiss you?" Alex asked, a sweet little crease forming between her eyebrows. Maggie shook her head affectionately, laughing.

"God, you're adorable," she murmured as she leaned forward, pulling Alex's face towards her, meeting her warm lips. She felt a jolt spraying out of her heart and down to her stomach, all the way to the heat that started to grow between her legs, ten thousand light bulbs light up in her brain, setting her free as Alex's lips touched hers, after ages of waiting. A frosty wind suddenly shook her, but Alex's grip was stronger, and she held her close as her head tilted to the other side, kissing her again and again, as if making up for their lost time together. They were exploring each other’s lips and tongues, drinking each other to the fullest, feeling every heartbeat growing faster and faster with the soft touch. Maggie ran a thumb over Alex's warm, still slightly red cheeks, and they finally broke away, gasping. She opened her eyes, making sure again that all of this is real.

"You, uh... wow." Alex shook her head. Maggie's hands were still on her cheeks and she smiled at her, biting her lip. "That was... amazing. You're amazing."

"I'm so glad you found the courage to come out. It wasn't easy, I'm sure." Maggie wrapped her arms around Alex's neck, pulling her into a warm embrace. "I'm so proud of you."

"Thank you." Alex held her tight, and Maggie almost lost balance, slipping slightly back as Alex took a step forward, into the ice. They straightened up quickly, giggling, and Alex tried not to fall on the slippery ice without her skaters.

"Let's go inside," Maggie pulled her forward. "I have another pair, we can skate together."

Alex wiped her cheeks, squeezing her palm. "Great idea."

*

"And Sawyer with the puck, she kicks it forward, Dan, fifteen more seconds to the end of the game-"

"She bypasses- what a great move- picking up for a shot, and-"

"Goal!"

The entire crowd stood up and cheered, Maggie skating swiftly around the goal net where she just shot the game's winning points. She lifted her stick up in the air with victory, a roar of joy coming out of her throat. Her teammates hurried to surround her, cheering and shouting in triumph, and she tried to tiptoe, managing to glance through the group of girls who hugged and shouted to found Rosa's face in the crowd, cheering loudly for her. A huge smile spread on Maggie's face when she screamed in ecstasy with the rest of her team.

"Maggie, you did it! We won!" Kara was always surprisingly stronger than any other girl in the team, and she made her way through to crush Maggie with a hug. "We're going to nationals!”

"I know, Kara," Maggie laughed, hugging her back. She looked around, finally searching for the most important jersey on the field. Kara let go of her, a knowing smile spread across her face. She nodded to signal behind Maggie, and she hurried to turn.

"Right here," Alex sled towards her with the biggest smile on her face, and they collided with a crushing hug. Maggie buried her face in Alex's padded shoulder, inhaling the smell of her uniform, the cold sweat vapor, the smell that was so Alex, that she became so familiar with in recent months. Alex pulled back to look at Maggie's face.

"I had no doubt that it would be you who would lead me to victory," she said, quiet enough for only Maggie to hear. Maggie fought the urge to cry, a feeling of pride rising in her unlike anything else she ever felt. Alex leaned forward to kiss her, breathless, and she could hear the cheers of the crowd resurfacing. She even felt a pat or two from her teammates that were still standing around, excited and laughing.

Alex pulled away slowly, her face still close to Maggie's, wide smiles still on their faces. Maggie's heart was threatening to break out of her rib cage, and she knew that no matter how much she would skate for the rest of her life, there was nothing she couldn’t do when Alex was beside her.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> The title is from the Barenaked Ladies song (!!!), 'Snowman'.
> 
> i'm bilerleigh on tumblr and bilerleighs on twitter, come see me there!
> 
> Have a warm winter and Happy holidays :)


End file.
